An Unforgettable Zen Story About "Letting Go"

Harriet Lerner Ph.D.The Dance of Connection

Psychology Today, March 8, 2015 

There is a classic Zen story of letting go that is told in many different versions. One of my favorites appears in a book for young readers by Jon J. Muth called Zen Shorts. 

Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn’t step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn’t help her across the puddle.

The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn’t thank the older monk, she just shoved him out of the way and departed.

As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. “That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn’t even thank you!

 “I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”

It feels good to let go—not when other people tell us to “let go and move on,” but when we ourselves see the necessity of it.  Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or whitewashing the other person’s behavior. It means protecting ourselves from the corrosive effects of staying stuck. Chronic anger and bitterness dissipate our energy and sap our creativity. Each of us has a certain amount of energy that fuels our spirit. If five percent—or seventy-five percent—of that energy is directed toward carrying someone who has wronged us, then that same percentage is unavailable for other pursuits.

If anger keeps us stuck in the past, we won’t be fully in the present, nor can we move forward into the future with our full potential for optimism and hope. We don’t need to forgive a particular bad action when the other person fails to genuinely acknowledge the wrong.

But we do need, over time, to dissipate its emotional charge. We need to accept the reality that sometimes the wrongdoer is unreachable and unrepentant, and we have a choice as to whether to carry the wrongdoing on our shoulders or not.

DVD Receives a Positive Review!

I'm very pleased the Midwest Book Review gave a positive review of my DVD, "Tai Chi for Body and Mind Fitness":

"Hosted by traditional Yang style Tai Chi instructor Pat Akers, Tai Chi for Body and Mind Fitness is a DVD designed for both beginner and advanced students of the art. Featuring step-by-step instructions, front and rear demonstrations of every tai chi movement, advice for improved balance and posture, tips especially for individuals with physical limitations, and more, Tai Chi for Body and Mind Fitness is an excellent addition to fitness DVD collections and a great way to learn Tai Chi for benefits in health and mental focus. Highly recommended! 2 DVDs, 283 min."

Clips from my DVD are on YouTube!

I'm happy to announce we now have a YouTube channel with 8 short video clips

from my instructional DVD, "Tai Chi for Body and Mind Fitness"

Here's the link:   
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAQOohoPVbPRTW7eiyBXekg

You can view these clips on a computer, cell phone or any TV set with streaming device like Roku.  

I​t would be much appreciated if you would "like" the channel and/or leave a comment about the videos. (Note, please don't leave personal messages or notes to me.)  You have to create an account and log in to Youtube.com in order to leave a "like" or comment.  Here is some information about this:

Link on how to "like" a Youtube video 
http://www.wikihow.com/Like-a-Video-on-YouTube
Link on how to post a comment on Youtube  
http://www.wikihow.com/Leave-Comments-on-YouTube

Why Tai Chi Is As Good For You As CrossFit

Markham Heid Apr 28, 2017 TIME Health

You’ve probably seen groups of people practicing tai chi in a park, so you have some idea what it's all about. Slow, mindful movements. No weights. Low intensity. The practice combines aspects of ancient Chinese medicine, philosophy and martial arts, and it's the antithesis of most modern exercise programs that emphasize fast, vigorous activity. Indeed, certain parts of tai chi are thousands of years old.

But while tai chi may look mundane—even boring to some—experts who’ve studied it say its benefits are vast and hard to oversell. Tai chi is a richly researched exercise, with health improvements ranging from better blood pressure scores to a sharper mind. “We’ve seen improved immunity to viruses and improved vaccine response among people who practiced tai chi,” says Dr. Michael Irwin, a professor of behavioral sciences and director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA.

During the past 15 years, Irwin has published more than a dozen studies linking tai chi to lower rates of insomnia, depression, illness and inflammation. It holds up when compared to other more strenuous types of exercise. “Over time, we see people who do tai chi achieve similar levels of fitness as those who walk or do other forms of physical therapy,” Irwin says.

One study in the American Journal of Epidemiology concluded that tai chi was nearly as effective as jogging at lowering risk of death among men. Another review in PLOS One found that the practice may improve fitness and endurance of the heart and lungs, even for healthy adults. Part of that is due to tai chi’s soothing effects on the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which tends to activate when a person is under stress. Much like aerobic exercise, tai chi seems to increase hormone and heart-rate measures linked with lower SNS activity, which could partly explain its ties to stronger hearts and lungs, Irwin says.

But how could such low-intensity exercise—something that involves movements with names like “cloud hands” and “lifting a lute”—offer these kinds of fitness perks? “One of the most striking things we’ve found is that [tai chi’s] physiological impacts can’t be explained by its physical activity component," Irwin says. It’s the mindful, meditative quality of tai chi that makes it so compelling, and that may explain the practice’s broad benefits.

“I think of it as meditation on wheels,” says Dr. Peter Wayne, director of research at the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine at Harvard Medical School. (He's the author of The Harvard Medical School Guide to Tai Chi, in which he references more than 600 academic papers on the health boons of the practice.) “You’re getting all the cognitive pieces you might get from meditation—mental clarity and focus and positive thoughts and lower stress—but you’re also getting physical exercise.”

Tai chi may also be a more approachable form of mindfulness training for those who struggle with the sit-and-breathe forms of meditation. “Directing attention to the body and pairing hand movements with balance and flexibility is easier for a lot of people than breath focus," Irwin says.

Tai chi may be especially healthful for older or sick adults who can’t perform more vigorous forms of physical activity. Among these groups, the practice is associated with improved balance and mobility, reduced risk of falls and better reaction times, Wayne says. A study in the Journal of Rheumatology tied tai chi to reduced pain and stiffness among people who have arthritis. It may also improve kidney and heart function among people suffering from related health issues, according to another study in the Journal of Physical Therapy Science.

But maybe the most compelling reason to give tai chi a shot is its ability to strengthen the connections between your mind and body, which can help you move through life with greater awareness and pleasure. “You might enjoy exercise more than you did before because you’re more mindful of your body,” Wayne says. “Or you may avoid injury or falls because of body awareness.” It's a rare aspect of exercise. Unlike almost every other form of physical activity, tai chi demands focus, which is central to its meditative benefits. “Even with yoga, you can do it and have your mind be somewhere else,” Irwin says. “It’s very hard to do tai chi and not be present.”

http://time.com/4758683/tai-chi-exercise/

"Tai Chi for Body and Mind Fitness" DVD is Now Available!

I'm very happy to announce my instructional tai chi DVD is available to order online. To order, just click on the picture of the DVD. This 2-disc program is one of the most comprehensive, tai chi DVD's available today. I take a playful approach to this ancient, Chinese martial art and encourage students to relax and have fun while learning this “moving meditation”.

This program provides:

• Background information on tai chi
• Easy to follow instructions for all levels of students
• Practical advice to improve posture and balance
• Tips to make tai chi accessible for those with physical limitations 

We all know the importance of exercise. The challenge is to find an exercise we'll stick with and that is appropriate for our bodies as we age. I've purchased gym memberships but stopped going after a few weeks because (here are a few of my excuses): The drive was too long; I didn't have time before work; I was too tired after work. (Fill in your own excuses here _____).

I provide detailed, step-by-step instruction so you can learn tai chi in the comfort of your home. No special equipment or clothing is required and you can do it anywhere, in a small amount of space. Unlike other forms of exercise, tai chi conditions your body while it quiets your mind. The flowing movements of tai chi are enjoyable to perform and they can help reduce stress, improve balance, lower blood pressure and increase joint flexibility.

Always consult your physician or medical professional before beginning any exercise program. I recommended you use this video in conjunction with a tai chi class.

Continuous Movement, a.k.a., Keep Moving!

After being seated at my desk most of a day preparing my taxes, I had stiffness in my lower back and hips.  I wasn't surprised because I'm aware of the importance of "keeping things moving".  I was surprised I'd forgotten that important lesson! 

Today, in class, I reminded students to strive for continuous movement in their t'ai chi.  During silent practice, I thought, the continuous movement of t'ai chi is a reminder to keep moving in our daily lives.  

Someone once said, "stasis is death".  Here is a definition of stasis from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
"a slowing or stoppage of the normal flow of a bodily fluid or semi-fluid, as in, slowing of the current of circulating blood. Stagnation." 

Most of the lessons we learn in t'ai chi are applicable in our daily lives.  
Keep moving in t'ai chi and in life!